Just wanted to put up some pictures of our trip to the zoo this weekend! It was a fantastic day to go, weather was beautiful and the fall colors were on full display. The boys had fun feeding the peacocks, ducks and seeing all the animals. I think they especially enjoyed having daddy at the zoo with us as we usually go to the zoo during the week while he's at work. 
When I found out we were pregnant with Chase, Jacob was literally the first person I told. I came running out and yelled, "we're having a baby" and he stood up on the bed and jumped up and down with pure excitement at the thought of having a baby sister or brother, at least to the extent a two year old can put it all together. At first, Jake was set that it was a baby sister. He would always says, "it's a sister" even if you asked, "what if it's a boy?" The first picture he saw, which was the 9 week ultrasound, he looked at it, looked at me, I said, "that's the baby..." and he said, "no Mama, that's not a baby that's a fish!" He watched my belly grow, he talked to it, he rubbed it, kissed it, felt the thumps and bumps, accidentally kicked it at times but he was in love with this little being that he didn't even know. It was so sweet. He was fine when we found out it was a boy. I really thought he was going to have a hard time but he quickly adapted to saying, "it's a brother" from all those months of "it's a sister." As the time got closer to Chase's arrival I found myself getting kind of sad. Still excited but sad that it wasn't just going to be Jacob and I or Jeff, Jacob and I. It was soon going to be a family of four instead of a family of three. I would lay with him and find myself wondering if we had done the right thing by bringing another baby into this perfectly fine threesome we had although I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt we were giving Jacob the best gift two parent's could give a child, a sibling. Being an only child myself I knew how special that was as I longed for a sibling my entire life. So, Chase came, and Jacob did great! He loved that baby with all his heart. He acted out towards us a little but that could have been the terrible 3's, who knows, but I do know he loved Chase. Now, I see them becoming great friends and beginning a friendship and a relationship that I always longed for. Sure, they fight and Jake gets frustrated with him but that's normal. I was just now going through some old documents on our computer and I found this poem, "Loving Two". I had found it way back when I was pregnant with Chase. I read it again now and just can't believe how true it is. I mean, I never really had the problems with Jake like the poem talks about, I put that pressure on myself, he was fine, but all in all the poem is so true. It's so sweet and beautiful. I hope you enjoy and I hope my boys always know how much I love them and how much they have each, individually and together as "brothers", touched and blessed my life.
Loving Two
I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: how could I ever love another child as I love you? Then he is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you have never shared me before. I hear you telling me in your own way, “please love only me”. And I hear myself telling you in mine, I can’t, knowing, in fact, that I never can again. You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again. But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying him as though I am betraying you. But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection. More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast. But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two. There are new times only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other. I watch how he adores you as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of his new accomplishments. And I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you, I’ve given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong. And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you, only differently. And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you'll never share my love. There’s enough of that for both of you. You each have your own supply. I love you-both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.
Love, MOMMY
Gone are the days of my car rides of just listening to the radio or having peaceful conversations with my son while our other son listened, QUIETLY and contently. Nope, Chase has decided to be a pterodactyl, you know the dinosaur. He literally sounds like a pterodactyl. He screams for no reason, just to hear himself make noise. I don't know why it surprises me at all giving Chase's personality...BIG!! Of course once he starts, Jacob starts with something which usually begins as laughing, which in turn gets Chase going even more, and then, once Jacob decides he's had enough, he starts sreaming and whining for Chase to stop. So enjoy this video, or at least get through it and the next time you have that quiet peaceful ride home, think of me!!
In all honesty, I do love to hear the boys in the back laughing at each other and talking to one another. It really is so fun to watch this little sibling relationship unfold. That being said, I will be happy when our pet pterodactyl leaves and we have our sweet baby boy back!!
Oh, and in case you are wondering, Jeff was driving on this particular day so when the noises started I thought I'd pull out the video for memory sake!!
Today after working out at the gym I took Jake swimming. He's been totally into the "butterfly" stroke after watching the Olympics this summer. He tries to do it, and it's very cute what he does, though I can't even begin to describe it. Today, he was doing his butterfly. Then he said, "Mommy, this is how a shark swims." I didn't really see what he was doing that was any different so I told him he could put his hand on his head like a shark fin and swim with the other. He didn't like that idea so much so then decided that a shark swims "fast" and it looked about the same as his regular swimming. Later, he asked "Mommy, do you want to see how a jellyfish swims...?" "show me," I said. So, he thought, first he said that yo have to twist your legs together and that's how. He quickly realized that was not very easy, even with floaties. So, he let his legs and arms dangle in the water with his back curved around like the head of a jellyfish. Cute. When it was about time to leave he was at the opposite side of the pool and asked if he could swim to the steps. As I watched him swim I saw him doing the strangest thing with his hands. He had each hand tight with all of the fingers touching. Then he was touching the fingertips of one hand to the other and then pulling them apart again but with the hand still tight. I finally asked him what he was doing and he replied, "swimming like a crab." WOW! He has such an imagination on him, I would have never thought to do that. I know, crabs don't technically "swim" but still. When he was almost at the stairs he said, "look Mommy I can be a different kind of crab too," and he now was swimming and pulling his fingers and thumbs apart and then putting them back together like you would do if you were mocking someone who was talking a lot. He is just so darn cute and I just wanted to remember this story. It doesn't do it much justice without the visual so really this post is more for me than anyone else but I hope you were able to picture it as much as possible and enjoyed it in some way. Wouldn't it be great if we all maintained the imagination of a child!!
