We'll just throw him in the trash

Sometimes when Chase is really bothering Jake I'll say, "let's just throw him away" or "let's just put him in the trash," with a serious but joking tone in my voice. It makes Jacob laugh and usually ends the problem. You're probably thinking this is could be cause for concern for Chase's feelings later in life...I suppose it could but I'm pretty sure, knowing Chase, he isn't going to care. Anyway, today, we were at Jacob's school and he was just harrassing all the kids like he does everyday. They have a love/hate relationship with him. He did something and I said, "maybe we should just throw him in the trash" which in turn got a big laugh and some looks of "really?" on their precious little faces from all the little girls standing around and then a big "Noooo, I don't want him in the trash!" from Jake (he, of course made it a big scene since we were with his friends, very dramatic). I said I was kidding and we went about our playtime. Then, Chase did something again to another little girl and she came up and said quietly, "Don't let Jacob see you throw him away...maybe you should do it at night..." I thought that was the funniest thing ever! We explained it was a joke and told her nanny incase there were any issues later at home. Her mom is a lawyer by the way, oops!

Good-bye Dad

Well, my dad had come home from Iraq in November. He got tired of it out there. We were so happy. Then he got bored here. Now, he's on his way to Afghanistan...We miss him already!

Soon....

So, I have been asked and asked multiple times when it is I am going to update my blog. Honestly, I haven't been on here in I don't even know how long, I can't believe my last past was at the beginning of December! WOW! And, my last post was about a "bad mommy moment". We can't leave it at that so I promise, on my honor, I will update soon, very soon. Now, I'm a bit overwhelmed at all of the things I have not posted about that I need to. Not sure if I will do some of those or just start from here and try to be better. Dad is going back to the Middle East at the end of the month so that will be good motivation. Really, I didn't even know people read it so thank you for caring about this Wyatt clan and for keeping me accountable. I know in the end, even though it's hard to get to sometimes, I will be happy I kept up with it. Love you all and I'll be back soon!!

Bad Mommy Moment

Jeff has been out of town for a work meeting this week so it's been a bit off at night getting the boys bathed and down for bed. I am still nursing Chase only before bed so it takes me a while to tend to him. Last night Jake wanted to stay in the bath while I layed Chase down. It didn't take too long so I came in and checked my email on the computer. Usually when Jake is needs us he'll just call out for us to come and help him with whatever he needs so I was figuring he was having a good time. I was only checking email about 5 minutes literally and then got off and went into our bathroom where Jake was still in the bath. He was just sitting there with his big brown eyes full of tears. I asked, "what's wrong baby?" and he said, "I was wanting to get out and you weren't here." So, I said, "well honey, why didn't you call for me?" His response was so smart and so sweet, he said, "I wanted to but I knew if I yelled for you it would wake up Chase." I just melted. Normally I wouldn't have felt bad, I would've thought it was sweet that he was being so considerate of both his brother and myself (HA!) and I would have thought it was a good lesson in patience but, since I was just sitting on the computer I did feel bad only because I could just imagine him sitting there wanting to get out and wanting to yell for me but knowing he couldn't and not knowing when I was going to be back. How sweet is my little boy! I don't know many four year olds, and I have know lots over the years, that would think that far outside of the box. So, for that moment I felt like a bad Mom, of course he got over it quickly but I was reminded that before I stop to do something so unimportant like check email, I need to make sure my children are tended to and have what they need.

The Zoo

Just wanted to put up some pictures of our trip to the zoo this weekend! It was a fantastic day to go, weather was beautiful and the fall colors were on full display. The boys had fun feeding the peacocks, ducks and seeing all the animals. I think they especially enjoyed having daddy at the zoo with us as we usually go to the zoo during the week while he's at work.

Loving Two

When I found out we were pregnant with Chase, Jacob was literally the first person I told. I came running out and yelled, "we're having a baby" and he stood up on the bed and jumped up and down with pure excitement at the thought of having a baby sister or brother, at least to the extent a two year old can put it all together. At first, Jake was set that it was a baby sister. He would always says, "it's a sister" even if you asked, "what if it's a boy?" The first picture he saw, which was the 9 week ultrasound, he looked at it, looked at me, I said, "that's the baby..." and he said, "no Mama, that's not a baby that's a fish!" He watched my belly grow, he talked to it, he rubbed it, kissed it, felt the thumps and bumps, accidentally kicked it at times but he was in love with this little being that he didn't even know. It was so sweet. He was fine when we found out it was a boy. I really thought he was going to have a hard time but he quickly adapted to saying, "it's a brother" from all those months of "it's a sister." As the time got closer to Chase's arrival I found myself getting kind of sad. Still excited but sad that it wasn't just going to be Jacob and I or Jeff, Jacob and I. It was soon going to be a family of four instead of a family of three. I would lay with him and find myself wondering if we had done the right thing by bringing another baby into this perfectly fine threesome we had although I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt we were giving Jacob the best gift two parent's could give a child, a sibling. Being an only child myself I knew how special that was as I longed for a sibling my entire life. So, Chase came, and Jacob did great! He loved that baby with all his heart. He acted out towards us a little but that could have been the terrible 3's, who knows, but I do know he loved Chase. Now, I see them becoming great friends and beginning a friendship and a relationship that I always longed for. Sure, they fight and Jake gets frustrated with him but that's normal. I was just now going through some old documents on our computer and I found this poem, "Loving Two". I had found it way back when I was pregnant with Chase. I read it again now and just can't believe how true it is. I mean, I never really had the problems with Jake like the poem talks about, I put that pressure on myself, he was fine, but all in all the poem is so true. It's so sweet and beautiful. I hope you enjoy and I hope my boys always know how much I love them and how much they have each, individually and together as "brothers", touched and blessed my life.

Loving Two
I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: how could I ever love another child as I love you? Then he is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you have never shared me before. I hear you telling me in your own way, “please love only me”. And I hear myself telling you in mine, I can’t, knowing, in fact, that I never can again. You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again. But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying him as though I am betraying you. But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection. More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast. But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two. There are new times only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other. I watch how he adores you as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of his new accomplishments. And I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you, I’ve given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong. And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you, only differently. And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you'll never share my love. There’s enough of that for both of you. You each have your own supply. I love you-both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.
Love, MOMMY

My peaceful car rides

Gone are the days of my car rides of just listening to the radio or having peaceful conversations with my son while our other son listened, QUIETLY and contently. Nope, Chase has decided to be a pterodactyl, you know the dinosaur. He literally sounds like a pterodactyl. He screams for no reason, just to hear himself make noise. I don't know why it surprises me at all giving Chase's personality...BIG!! Of course once he starts, Jacob starts with something which usually begins as laughing, which in turn gets Chase going even more, and then, once Jacob decides he's had enough, he starts sreaming and whining for Chase to stop. So enjoy this video, or at least get through it and the next time you have that quiet peaceful ride home, think of me!!

In all honesty, I do love to hear the boys in the back laughing at each other and talking to one another. It really is so fun to watch this little sibling relationship unfold. That being said, I will be happy when our pet pterodactyl leaves and we have our sweet baby boy back!!

Oh, and in case you are wondering, Jeff was driving on this particular day so when the noises started I thought I'd pull out the video for memory sake!!